WTF... Really?

So, I have had some really weird shit happen last night and today. Do I have some sort of bullseye somewhere on my body that says, "If you are a crazy ass bitch that likes the drama, some after me."?

Let me see if I can condense this...

I was on Jordan's facebook last night. Now, I'm not prowling. He asked me to check it and his myspace from time to time and forward any messages on there to his email, or just let his "friends" know that he is deployed. He had a message in his inbox from a lady that I didn't know, and was pretty certain he didn't know, either. She was asking him, "How does your wife know my husband?" well, curiosity got the better of me, so I sent a message back explaining to her that I had went to Jr. high with him, and accepted his friend request on facebook. That's it. I haven't even seen this guy since maybe 1997.

So, she keeps sending more messages trying to insinuate to Jordan that I was sleeping with her husband. Well, now I'm starting to get pissed off. I'll be the first to admit that I have a checkered past, but if I'm going to be accused of screwing someone, it damn sure better be someone that I did in fact have sex with. Basically, this woman found some photos on her husband's computer, and the only name on them was Brittany, which happens to be my first name. This silly, insecure bitch would not leave it alone until she sent the damn pictures for Jordan to inspect and confirm that whoever the woman in the photos was, in fact, not me.

Seriously, do I come off as that much of a whore that when someone's husband cheats on them, they are going to blame me? I could even understand some residual jealousy if it was someone I had fooled around with during my days of youth and sin, but I haven't seen this guy since the freaking 8th grade, and I know I didn't screw him then.

What sucks is this is not the first time I've been accused of sleeping with someone's significant other. Now, I'm once again not going to deny that I have slept with men who were married, but it was a long time ago, and that time I didn't get caught. And I damn sure haven't slept with another married person since I've been married to Jordan. And if I felt the need to cheat on my husband, it definitely wouldn't be with this dude.

I really don't even know what to say other than seriously, what the fuck?!?!

I thank the Lord there's people out there like you...

Well, today was once again busy, but very exciting around my house...

I will never be able to be thankful enough that I have been able to stay at home with my babies. Having this time with them while they are so small is such an unparalleled blessing that I don;t know how to describe it.

I didn't get as much cleaning done today as I had wanted, but that is OK. I am starting to not let it bother me. It was especially helpful when my mother in law stopped by unexpectedly and I was hugely embarrassed over the state of the house when she told me, "Your house doesn't look filthy. It just looks like there are children here." Coming from someone whose home looks like it should be in Southern Living, it helped me to relax a bit. I still want it better, and may shortly break into an all night cleaning session, but I am not going to let it stress me out.

We had a slow morning, and actually slept late! I don't know if you can really call it sleeping in when I am still waking every coupe of hours to nurse a newborn, but you get the point anyway. After breakfast, I played with Sadie while tending to Emmaline in between until lunch and then nap time. After nap, another snack for Sadie and who knows how many infant feedings, we trekked to the store to pick up some ground beef in anticipation of making tacos for dinner.

The trip was uneventful, but definitely needed to relieve some boredom and stir craziness from all of us. We also picked up a card for my step-brother Benjamin, who turned 19 today. We came back home to total chaos! It took forever to get Emmaline to a point where she was not screaming. I then made dinner and sot the bathtub ready for Sadie.

The last few weeks, Sadie has decided that she has to sit on the potty before she gets in the tub. I have been letting her so as not to discourage her interest, but at the same time knowing that she probably doesn't get it quite yet. So, I get her clothes off and she is sitting on the potty like she usually does. I turned around to get a clean towel out of the cabinet and when I turned my eyes back to Sadie, SHE HAD PEED IN THE POTTY!! Now, this could be pure coincidence, but regardless, I praised her unendingly, and am determined to foster this. From now on, anytime I go to the bathroom during the day, I am going to take her with me to see what happens. I will buy some panties and let her know that when she tells me she has to potty, she can wear the big girl panties! I don't believe in using pull-ups, so hopefully urging her toward the panties will do the trick! I never thought I would be so excited about something so silly, but I am. Now, I am by no means thinking that this means she is potty trained, but it is a really huge step in the right direction... She shows interest, and now, having gone in the potty once, she will begin to understand what it is for.

This is great news especially for the pocketbook. Since I had made the decision to use diapers that were chlorine free and made from natural fibers, I have spent about twice what the average person spends to diaper their kid. Now that I have two, the expense has doubled. Some people consider it to be silly or unnecessary, but it is a decision I made when my oldest daughter was just a newborn. First off, they were the only diapers that sis not give her a rash. Second, when I began learning about all of the additional benefits of these diapers, I could not, in good conscience, put another Pamper on my child, ever. And I have stuck to this. I am perfectly willing to budget around this. But I think every parent is excited when they no longer have to buy diapers!

Don't think I don't think about it...

Well, today was interesting to say the least. We didn't go anywhere at al, but being here at home was busy enough!

My house has moved beyond disarray into a certifiable disaster area. I am going to clean up all of the toys before I go to sleep, but tomorrow will be my cleaning day no matter what!

Emmaline spent the last half of the day and evening disgruntled. About what, I don't know. She didn't send me a tweet to let me know...LOL! Sadie was having a great day and we were having loads of fun together when out of nowhere she began screaming. I went to change her diaper, and she had a pretty yucky one that caused her a red and sore bottom. I got her "all clean," as she likes to say and medicated and back to the living room full of toys, when no less that ten minutes later, she somehow bit her lip! I'm sure it was just from the fact that she isn't very used to having teeth, but nonetheless, the screaming began again.

I finally got the baby calm enough to get Sadie in the tub, and as soon as I had wrestled her into jammies, more screaming, this time from the other one. So we all went into the living room. I had Sadie occupied with some toys and a sippy cup of milk and I sat down on the couch and nursed Emmaline. Poor Sadie was so tired that she crawled up onto the couch next to us, and I got to snuggle with both of my blessings! I get to hug and kiss babies all day, but it's not the same as kissing my husband... I still miss him and worry about him everyday! I worry about everything. I even worry that as much as I want him to be here with us, it will be completely different when he does get back. I don't know, now I am just rambling which is probably a sign that I should call it a night...

Should be sleeping...

That is the story of my life. I just feel like the only time I have a chance to do anything for myself is when my kids are asleep.

The last few weeks have been a bit hectic and rough at times, but we are managing. Jordan left here on the 3rd, and left port for his underway deployment on the 13th. They are hitting several ports on their way, so hopefully he won't get too stir crazy or depressed along his journey.

As for things around here, it's going OK. I am getting settled in to a routine with two kids instead of one. My house continually stays messy, and I can't go to the grocery store without getting a sitter for at least one of the girls, but I am alright with it. I just miss my husband. And I know that Sadie misses her Daddy.

Regardless, I just want to do my best as a mom to my girls and not let things get to me or become frustrated. These beautiful little creatures are the unexpected blessings of my life, and I know that they are watching my every move and hearing my every word.

My second daughter, Emmaline...

Well, it is later than promised, but here is my labor/delivery post about Emmaline...

I had been walking around big as a house with a scheduled induction date of April 20th. My husband was scheduled to be here on the 15th, so it was perfect timing. However, timing doesn't always work in your favor during pregnancy.

I had been having all kinds of contractions for days, just not consistently. On Easter Saturday night/ Sunday morning, i began contracting painfully every five minutes, so I made a call to the midwife to decide what to do. I went to the hospital at around 2am, and stayed until 8am when they sent me home telling me I was 4 cm dilated and still contracting. I didn't understand why they were sending me home. I got back to the house and tried my best to get some rest, but went back to the hospital at 3pm. This time I was dilated to 5cm, still contracting every 4 to 5 minutes and they sent me home at around 1am yet again. I was so exhausted, missing my Sadie, and just beside myself that I was an emotional wreck. I went back to my parents house that night. The next day I went to my inlaws to get Sadie and spent the rest of the evening at home. My husband was able to get early leave and got to the house late Monday night. I woke up at 5am Tuesday morning with painful contractions again. I woke Jordan up to start timing them. I called the midwife's office as soon as their office opened to see if I could come in and get checked. I was so upset by my previous weekend that I was not going back to that hospital unless I left with a baby...

We went into the office at 11am, and I was 7cm dilated. They sent me to the hospital to have a baby... FINALLY! I got to the hospital and had a really sweet nurse. Then the epidural lady came and I was a happy camper. I got the epidural and was starting to feel a little tingly, but not numb. I was getting worried, because I never really got numb at all. Then I realized after about 30 minutes that I was not numb a all, something was not working. They called the epidural lady back in and I am screaming by this point because I can feel EVERYTHING! As the epidural lady is trying to inject medicine into the line, the midwife checked me and said I needed to push, to which I replied, "I can't... It hurts too much!" However, by this point I had limited options. I could wait for more epidural medicine to kick in and deal with the pain of the contractions until it started working, or I could deal with the pain of pushing and try to get it over with.

Well, I must be able to push like a pro. Little baby Emmaline came out in ONE push! I didn't believe everyone when they told me she was out. It happened so fast relative to being dilated and having contractions for three days prior. I once again had no cutting or tearing, and was able to go home just 24 hours later. Here are our first photos, and I will be sure to keep my blog more updated from now on!