There will be no consolation prize; this time the bone is broken clean...

Today my beautiful stepson should be celebrating his third birthday. I have this picture in my head of balloons, inflatable bouncy toys, pinatas, cake, and ice cream. Instead, I can only pray that our sweet angel baby is smiling down upon his sisters.

I will never forget the day that I learned Tristan had passed away. I had only recently become aware of my first pregnancy. I broke. I just broke down. I was terrified of what this news would do to my husband. I feared the worst. I thought at that moment that I would never see Jordan again, and I would be alone with our child.

That of course, did not happen, but it never made accepting Tristan's death any easier.

There has not been one single day that I have not thought about the "what ifs." What if he had been here with us? What if we had tried harder to make that happen. I have said over and over again that if he were still here, I would fight for him to be with us every second. I can picture him playing with toys in the living room, sharing with Sadie. I can see him kissing baby Emmaline on her forehead. I can see walking in the park holding his tiny hand. I can see the big brother constantly looking after his two little sisters.

God, how I wish I could go back... I wish I could have him here. I wish I had fought for him when it mattered. Instead I was too concerned about what was going on in my own life and left him in a foreign, barren wasteland that killed him. He could have been part of a family that loved him. He could have had a doting mother and two sisters to care for.

Instead he died in Iceland...

Until the day comes that I am given a TRUE explanation as to the cause of his death, I will question. Was it the environment he was in? Was it the people caring for him? Was he cold, scared, or hurt? What was wrong with him?

Nothing I can ever say or do will ever bring him back, and every day I will think about my regret and what I should have done...

WE LOVE YOU!

Tristan Alexander Stepp

June 5, 2006 - April 30, 2007

Sadie and Sushi...

Sushi the cat, that is. Check out this video...

I've got a friend who loves me; I've got a house; I've got a car...

Things are beginning to even out a bit so that I have been able to sleep some. Every day is different, but as a whole, things are becoming less stressful.

We had a busy day yesterday. I had to go to Chattanooga to buy diapers at Babies r Us. I also ended up spending an extra $40 on a new bra that I did not want to spend due to an embarrassing leaking incident. After that I had to take Emmaline to see the doctor because she has a rash that was spreading, and I was becoming concerned about. It turns out she has a severe case of Eczema and hypersensitive skin like Sadie had.

Our big plans for the evening were to go and visit an old friend of mine that I used to go to church with and haven't seen in a long time. She has 4 kids that are 18, 16, 14, and 12. Of course, being teenagers, only her 12 year old son was home, but we still had a great time! I was thrilled to be able to catch up and have adult conversation, and she and her son both LOVED my kids. We ate, played, looked at photos, let Sadie play with a kitty and just were able to unwind a bit.

Unfortunately, we had such a good time that we got home really late and Miss Sadie gave me a run for my money when it was time to go to bed. Emmaline slept remarkably well, though. I was surprised!

Today was a bit of a lazy day. I did have to go to Wal-Mart to collect the various skin care products that would be safe for Baby Emmaline. When we left the house, I decided to stop by the Garden Center first to see my parents. My mom immediately took Sadie and let her play in the fountains. She was soaking wet! The spare outfit that I had for her in the diaper bag was just a tshirt and jeans. It was SO HOT outside that my mom would not let me put the jeans on her, and she was just in a shirt and her diaper. So, completely humiliated, I took my child to Wal-Mart just as she was. I felt like such white trash! From now on, I will pack a better bag so this NEVER happens again!

In the meantime, we are just staying focused and positive and adjusting to being here without Jordan. It really helps that I have been in contact with some long lost friends. Somehow everything is falling into place...

WTF... Really?

So, I have had some really weird shit happen last night and today. Do I have some sort of bullseye somewhere on my body that says, "If you are a crazy ass bitch that likes the drama, some after me."?

Let me see if I can condense this...

I was on Jordan's facebook last night. Now, I'm not prowling. He asked me to check it and his myspace from time to time and forward any messages on there to his email, or just let his "friends" know that he is deployed. He had a message in his inbox from a lady that I didn't know, and was pretty certain he didn't know, either. She was asking him, "How does your wife know my husband?" well, curiosity got the better of me, so I sent a message back explaining to her that I had went to Jr. high with him, and accepted his friend request on facebook. That's it. I haven't even seen this guy since maybe 1997.

So, she keeps sending more messages trying to insinuate to Jordan that I was sleeping with her husband. Well, now I'm starting to get pissed off. I'll be the first to admit that I have a checkered past, but if I'm going to be accused of screwing someone, it damn sure better be someone that I did in fact have sex with. Basically, this woman found some photos on her husband's computer, and the only name on them was Brittany, which happens to be my first name. This silly, insecure bitch would not leave it alone until she sent the damn pictures for Jordan to inspect and confirm that whoever the woman in the photos was, in fact, not me.

Seriously, do I come off as that much of a whore that when someone's husband cheats on them, they are going to blame me? I could even understand some residual jealousy if it was someone I had fooled around with during my days of youth and sin, but I haven't seen this guy since the freaking 8th grade, and I know I didn't screw him then.

What sucks is this is not the first time I've been accused of sleeping with someone's significant other. Now, I'm once again not going to deny that I have slept with men who were married, but it was a long time ago, and that time I didn't get caught. And I damn sure haven't slept with another married person since I've been married to Jordan. And if I felt the need to cheat on my husband, it definitely wouldn't be with this dude.

I really don't even know what to say other than seriously, what the fuck?!?!

I thank the Lord there's people out there like you...

Well, today was once again busy, but very exciting around my house...

I will never be able to be thankful enough that I have been able to stay at home with my babies. Having this time with them while they are so small is such an unparalleled blessing that I don;t know how to describe it.

I didn't get as much cleaning done today as I had wanted, but that is OK. I am starting to not let it bother me. It was especially helpful when my mother in law stopped by unexpectedly and I was hugely embarrassed over the state of the house when she told me, "Your house doesn't look filthy. It just looks like there are children here." Coming from someone whose home looks like it should be in Southern Living, it helped me to relax a bit. I still want it better, and may shortly break into an all night cleaning session, but I am not going to let it stress me out.

We had a slow morning, and actually slept late! I don't know if you can really call it sleeping in when I am still waking every coupe of hours to nurse a newborn, but you get the point anyway. After breakfast, I played with Sadie while tending to Emmaline in between until lunch and then nap time. After nap, another snack for Sadie and who knows how many infant feedings, we trekked to the store to pick up some ground beef in anticipation of making tacos for dinner.

The trip was uneventful, but definitely needed to relieve some boredom and stir craziness from all of us. We also picked up a card for my step-brother Benjamin, who turned 19 today. We came back home to total chaos! It took forever to get Emmaline to a point where she was not screaming. I then made dinner and sot the bathtub ready for Sadie.

The last few weeks, Sadie has decided that she has to sit on the potty before she gets in the tub. I have been letting her so as not to discourage her interest, but at the same time knowing that she probably doesn't get it quite yet. So, I get her clothes off and she is sitting on the potty like she usually does. I turned around to get a clean towel out of the cabinet and when I turned my eyes back to Sadie, SHE HAD PEED IN THE POTTY!! Now, this could be pure coincidence, but regardless, I praised her unendingly, and am determined to foster this. From now on, anytime I go to the bathroom during the day, I am going to take her with me to see what happens. I will buy some panties and let her know that when she tells me she has to potty, she can wear the big girl panties! I don't believe in using pull-ups, so hopefully urging her toward the panties will do the trick! I never thought I would be so excited about something so silly, but I am. Now, I am by no means thinking that this means she is potty trained, but it is a really huge step in the right direction... She shows interest, and now, having gone in the potty once, she will begin to understand what it is for.

This is great news especially for the pocketbook. Since I had made the decision to use diapers that were chlorine free and made from natural fibers, I have spent about twice what the average person spends to diaper their kid. Now that I have two, the expense has doubled. Some people consider it to be silly or unnecessary, but it is a decision I made when my oldest daughter was just a newborn. First off, they were the only diapers that sis not give her a rash. Second, when I began learning about all of the additional benefits of these diapers, I could not, in good conscience, put another Pamper on my child, ever. And I have stuck to this. I am perfectly willing to budget around this. But I think every parent is excited when they no longer have to buy diapers!

Don't think I don't think about it...

Well, today was interesting to say the least. We didn't go anywhere at al, but being here at home was busy enough!

My house has moved beyond disarray into a certifiable disaster area. I am going to clean up all of the toys before I go to sleep, but tomorrow will be my cleaning day no matter what!

Emmaline spent the last half of the day and evening disgruntled. About what, I don't know. She didn't send me a tweet to let me know...LOL! Sadie was having a great day and we were having loads of fun together when out of nowhere she began screaming. I went to change her diaper, and she had a pretty yucky one that caused her a red and sore bottom. I got her "all clean," as she likes to say and medicated and back to the living room full of toys, when no less that ten minutes later, she somehow bit her lip! I'm sure it was just from the fact that she isn't very used to having teeth, but nonetheless, the screaming began again.

I finally got the baby calm enough to get Sadie in the tub, and as soon as I had wrestled her into jammies, more screaming, this time from the other one. So we all went into the living room. I had Sadie occupied with some toys and a sippy cup of milk and I sat down on the couch and nursed Emmaline. Poor Sadie was so tired that she crawled up onto the couch next to us, and I got to snuggle with both of my blessings! I get to hug and kiss babies all day, but it's not the same as kissing my husband... I still miss him and worry about him everyday! I worry about everything. I even worry that as much as I want him to be here with us, it will be completely different when he does get back. I don't know, now I am just rambling which is probably a sign that I should call it a night...

Should be sleeping...

That is the story of my life. I just feel like the only time I have a chance to do anything for myself is when my kids are asleep.

The last few weeks have been a bit hectic and rough at times, but we are managing. Jordan left here on the 3rd, and left port for his underway deployment on the 13th. They are hitting several ports on their way, so hopefully he won't get too stir crazy or depressed along his journey.

As for things around here, it's going OK. I am getting settled in to a routine with two kids instead of one. My house continually stays messy, and I can't go to the grocery store without getting a sitter for at least one of the girls, but I am alright with it. I just miss my husband. And I know that Sadie misses her Daddy.

Regardless, I just want to do my best as a mom to my girls and not let things get to me or become frustrated. These beautiful little creatures are the unexpected blessings of my life, and I know that they are watching my every move and hearing my every word.

My second daughter, Emmaline...

Well, it is later than promised, but here is my labor/delivery post about Emmaline...

I had been walking around big as a house with a scheduled induction date of April 20th. My husband was scheduled to be here on the 15th, so it was perfect timing. However, timing doesn't always work in your favor during pregnancy.

I had been having all kinds of contractions for days, just not consistently. On Easter Saturday night/ Sunday morning, i began contracting painfully every five minutes, so I made a call to the midwife to decide what to do. I went to the hospital at around 2am, and stayed until 8am when they sent me home telling me I was 4 cm dilated and still contracting. I didn't understand why they were sending me home. I got back to the house and tried my best to get some rest, but went back to the hospital at 3pm. This time I was dilated to 5cm, still contracting every 4 to 5 minutes and they sent me home at around 1am yet again. I was so exhausted, missing my Sadie, and just beside myself that I was an emotional wreck. I went back to my parents house that night. The next day I went to my inlaws to get Sadie and spent the rest of the evening at home. My husband was able to get early leave and got to the house late Monday night. I woke up at 5am Tuesday morning with painful contractions again. I woke Jordan up to start timing them. I called the midwife's office as soon as their office opened to see if I could come in and get checked. I was so upset by my previous weekend that I was not going back to that hospital unless I left with a baby...

We went into the office at 11am, and I was 7cm dilated. They sent me to the hospital to have a baby... FINALLY! I got to the hospital and had a really sweet nurse. Then the epidural lady came and I was a happy camper. I got the epidural and was starting to feel a little tingly, but not numb. I was getting worried, because I never really got numb at all. Then I realized after about 30 minutes that I was not numb a all, something was not working. They called the epidural lady back in and I am screaming by this point because I can feel EVERYTHING! As the epidural lady is trying to inject medicine into the line, the midwife checked me and said I needed to push, to which I replied, "I can't... It hurts too much!" However, by this point I had limited options. I could wait for more epidural medicine to kick in and deal with the pain of the contractions until it started working, or I could deal with the pain of pushing and try to get it over with.

Well, I must be able to push like a pro. Little baby Emmaline came out in ONE push! I didn't believe everyone when they told me she was out. It happened so fast relative to being dilated and having contractions for three days prior. I once again had no cutting or tearing, and was able to go home just 24 hours later. Here are our first photos, and I will be sure to keep my blog more updated from now on!

EMMALINE DAISY STEPP -- April 14, 2009

For those of you who haven't heard, baby number 2 is here! I'll post stats for now, and when I have a little more time to devote to the whole labor/delivery fiasco, I will post the details.

EMMALINE DAISY STEPP

April 14, 2009

3:58 p.m.

6 pounds - 7 ounces

19 inches long

Easter at the park...

Sadie and I went to Coolidge park this afternoon to open Easter baskets and hunt eggs with my husband's family. I snapped a few pics of our adventure.

The kids were moving around so fast that I got the back of Sadie's head quite a bit...

Sadie running away with her treasure...

Sadie with her prize egg. It had a whole dollar in it for her piggy bank...

Sadie finding some Easter eggs...

Sadie finding some Easter eggs...

Katie wanted to make sure I took her picture to send to Uncle Jordan..

Sadie and Mimi looking for eggs...

Sadie and Mimi looking for eggs...

Sadie and Mimi looking for eggs...

Mimi explaining the rules of the Easter egg Hunt to my little Sadie...

Sadie opening her Easter basket from Mimi and DeeDee...

Oh, crafty me...

I think I have lamented once before about my inability to sew. Well, in the dim future of my pram project, I have decided to remedy that. As of the middle of May, my husband will be gone for no less than 8 months, and possibly up to an entire year. That being said, this should be a perfect time for me to learn my new hobby. I am actually excited.

I plan to start off slowly with a couple of simple projects that I know I can do. I am going to make some cute hairbows for my daughters. I have thought about this before, but it just never really came to fruition. I got the idea that I might actually be capable of it yesterday when I was helping my mom make bows for the Easter lilies to be delivered to the church. I think I could probably adapt this system to making some cute bows for the little ones. I have been frustrated by hairbows since Sadie grew enough hair to have them. First off, they are obscenely overpriced. Second, if you want to pay a reasonable price like at Walmart or Target, they are really shitty quality and fall apart the first time your child tugs at them. Next, I am just picky when it comes to what they look like. I like just a simple bow that is in proportion to the size of the child's head. I HATE korker bows with a passion, my daughter will not wear a headband, and even some of the "boutique" bows I have seen just look tacky to me. I'll give it a try after baby Emmaline gets here and we get a good schedule established. I don't need to make a ton, a I don't plan on reselling them, so it won't cost more than a few dollars to give it a whirl.

The next crafty project I want to take on is making some dress-up tutus for my babies. I had no idea Sadie would love the dress up outfit my parents got for her so much! She wouldn't even let me take off her tutu today when it was nap time. So when I went to get the last minute, cheap Easter basket items, I cruised through the girly toy aisle at Walmart to look at the dress-up stuff they had. Well, once again, it was obscenely overpriced, and once again, it was really shitty quality. One little dress-up "outfit" (a puffy dress of some kind and a plastic accessory) was on average $20. So when I had the chance to get back online and poke around a bit, I discovered a tutu "pattern," so to speak on several websites which is basically just knotting strips of tulle around a piece of elastic fitted to your child's waist. The upside to this is you can use any colors you want, and make it as puffy as you want. I also looked at the price of tulle and elastic on a couple of websites, and I figure that I could make one for less than $4. I am going to go get the supplies as soon as I can get to Hobby Lobby.

I hope that all of this will culminate in my learning how to sew and actually make things. My mom can sew, knit, crochet, and essentially make anything from nothing, and I remember when I was younger she would make all of my Halloween costumes, Easter dresses, and even some of my dance dresses. I never realized at the time that she did it to save money, but it really didn't matter. Those things that she made for me were much more beautiful and detailed than the ones people were paying for. I would always get compliments. I want to be able to do things like that for my little girls. Like Patsy Cline would say, if we can't buy it, we'll just make it...

Dress-Up...

My daughter and I played dress-up this morning. It was oodles of fun for both of us, and I realized that I have the cutest kid in the world!

Here you go...

I caught her climbing on the coffee table

I didn't give her a pacie this morning, but apparently she has a hidden stash...
Oh, she is SO PRETTY!
And maybe a little bit of a diva...

Yay for ribbon!!


I LOVE this smile!!
How did I ever get so lucky?

Little fairy or little bug? I can't decide...

April 7, 2009

So, today was pretty relaxing for the most part. Sadie was really well behaved and content despite having two new teeth wrestling their way through her gums. She did not nap very well, but that was not her fault. It was my neighbor's.

When I was first moving in, the next door neighbor came over as I was unpacking and Sadie was at her Mimi's with a totally humiliated look on his face and asked if there was any way I could give his car a boost. I didn't mind. Everyone has dealt with a dead battery before. He seemed nice. He was younger than I am, but has a little boy the same age as Sadie. The most notable thing about this kid was his car. It is obscenely loud. And for all intents and purposes, it is a piece of junk. I feel a little bad for the guy that he has obviously spent time and money making his car sound the way it does when the bumpers don't match the rest of the car and it has more primer and bondo spots than actual paint. The car never really bothered me because although it was noticeably noisy, it was never in a disturbing or annoying kind of way. It was more of a "Oh, the neighbor is home." Well, lately it has become a nightmare. First off, the car is even louder than usual, and the car's owner has taken to starting it up, sitting there revving the engine up and down anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes before he finally pulls out of his driveway, screeching tires and flooring the accelerator. Well, today this joker decides to do this right after Sadie had fallen asleep for her nap. SHe had been asleep just long enough to be wound up again and it messed up our day's schedule pretty good. I feel like I should say something, but I don't really know how to approach the situation. It will be especially frustrating when I not only have Sadie but the new baby as well. Is it un-neighborly to tell him that I have a .45 and a shovel and I doubt anyone would miss his dumb ass... Nevermind, that is just me being pregnant.

On to better things. Other than the loud car incident our day was going well. When I realized that Sadie would not be going back down to complete her nap, I decided to take a quick trip to the store because we were running low on milk. When I got to our local truck stop (closest place), they had Chicken and Dumplings as their lunch special. That put a big grin on my face because it was SOOOO yummy! We stopped by the Garden Center and did the deposit for the day and took it by the bank. My mom also told me to stop by her house while I was out because she wanted to give me some baskets that would go well on the changing table in the nursery. I stopped by to pick them up, and while I was at her house, UPS came and delivered the overnight bags mom had ordered for the girls, so I was able to get those as well.

We came home and I immediately put the new baskets on the changing table, and they look fantastic! I will post a pic or two tomorrow when I get new batteries for my camera. It just really ties the room together in a way that I kept picturing in my head but could not accomplish on my own. This left me with 5 fabric bins I had bought for it several weeks ago that I would not need. I tried to think of anyone I knew that could use them, but I accidentally found the target bag with the packaging and tags for them. I have to go to Target tomorrow anyway to return a baby item that is a duplicate, so I am going to take the bins back as well. This was kind of exciting because I have not had very much "walking around money" this week because I am not working due to my mother-in-law having surgery (she usually babysits my daughter). Granted, it won't be a ton of money, and I will most likely have to spend it at Target, but I have some household things I need (cleaning supplies, light bulbs, batteries) and that will be that much less I have to spend at the weekly trip to the grocery store.

All of this has made for a busy day tomorrow. I wanted to plan several things in Cleveland for one day so I wouldn't be wasting gas going back and forth. So, we are going to Wendy's house to hopefully get some spring/Easter pics of Sadie if she is willing to cooperate, going by Annabelle Ink to see if the girls' new bags can be monogrammed, and to target to make our exchanges. Thursday should be a relaxing day at home. Friday is my weekly pregnant lady Dr. appointment, and Saturday we are supposed to go to Coolidge Park with my in-laws for Easter. I hope I can make it through without going into labor.

Finally, speaking of labor, I am scheduled to be induced on the 20th of April. As much as I would prefer to let things just happen on their own, I am working in a limited time frame of when my husband will be home on leave, so I can handle it this way.

TEMPLATE!

My new blog template was made by my friend Wendy, a web designer. She has lots of templates available for people to use with their blogs, and it was even super easy for me to install. Check out her designs at thedesignparlor.net

What's in a name...

To me... just about everything. I have always had a slight obsession with names. Even back in my days of youth and sin when having children was the farthest thing from my mind one of my secret pleasures was looking at baby name books. I also enjoyed reading the trash magazines to find out what famous people named their kids and looking at the birth announcements in my local paper to see what names people had picked out.

I don't really know how this came about, it's just something I was always intrigued by. The downside to this interest is that I have formed some pretty strong opinions when it comes to naming that probably makes people a bit mad at me. Which I think is crazy, because I know that there are people that do not like the names I have chosen for my daughters, but it doesn't bother me. They are my kids. You don't have to like their names.

My first pet peeve is naming trends. A few years ago, everyone was naming their little girls Madison and Mackenzie. Today, everyone is naming their kids (male and female) Aidan, Kaden, Hayden, Brayden, and any and every variant thereof. I'm not making this up, either. Aidan and all of its variants is number one on babynames.com. Kaden and Brayden are numbers 3 and 4, respectively. Now, it is not the names themselves that bother me. I have a 4 year old nephew named Kaden, and a close friend with a son named Aidan. I'm not as bothered by their choices of these names because they came about a little bit before the trend exploded, and I know that my friend Wendy named her son Aidan after someone, which I can never really be upset about. I suppose why this bothers me so much is because of my first name. When my mom chose the name (Brittany) it was not completely unusual, but it wasn't crazy popular, either. THen about five years later, EVERYONE was naming their kids Brittany. It got really annoying to me, and is probably a contributing factor to the reason I have chosen to go by my middle name for the last decade or so.

The next bothersome thing on my list... Please for the love of God, people, stop butchering names with cutesy, "unique" spellings. It just makes you look dumb. I know by association two pregnant people right now who are naming their kids Aidan (mistake no. 1), and they are spelling them Ayden and Aidyn, respectively. And if I see one more person butcher the beautiful name Madeline by spelling it Madelyn, Maddelyn, Madelynn, or Maddelynn, I will personally not hesitate to tell them what an idiot they are. Madeline USED to be my favorite girl's name until all of the nonsensical spelling started.

My nest issue is people who give their kids nicknames as actual names. In my book, a child's birth certificate should never read KATIE. You can call your kid Katie as much as you want to, but Katie, in my opinion, is a nickname for Katherine, Katelyn, or Kathleen. Period. Without exception. I call my oldest daughter Sadie, but her name is Sadiya. Katie is a perfectly suitable name for a five year old little girl, but how seriously will she be taken when she is 25, and has to put Katie on her resume? The same goes for Liam (William), Stella (Estelle), and probably a hundred others that I could think of.

That being said, I will gladly share my daughters' names so they can be scrutinized just as I do everyone else's choice. My oldest is Sadiya Reagan, after my grandmother and the great communicator, President Ronald Reagan. Number two, who is scheduled to be here April 20th is Emmaline Daisy, Daisy after my other grandmother, and no significance to Emmaline other than I liked it and it hasn't been on a most popular name list since 1880!

Well, here goes nothing... My first post on this blog. Of course, I have had a myspace blog for ages, but I don't think anyone has left any comments in a couple of years or so, so I thought if I was going to spend my time writing all of this useless crap, then I might as well do it where someone along the way might read it...

I have been very busy getting the house ready, and I can finally say that I am done... With the exception of the pram project (which I will go into later), and of course unless I change my mind about something. If I do decide to re-do something yet again, it will probably be baby Emmaline's nursery. I have arranged it every way possible, and I have the new decor in there, I just cannot for the life of me get it the way I want it. Every time I walk through the door, it just doesn't look right to me, and I don't quite know how to make it better.

Here are a couple of photos of how it looks right now...

As for the "Pram project," as I have been calling it. I stopped randomly at a yard sale one day and bought a Pram/carriage stroller for $20. The people who were having the sale told me that they brought it back from Germany when they were stationed there with the Air Force. I fell in love with this thing. I love everything about it except the material. It's very much for a boy. However, for $20, I figured it would not be difficult to use some fabric I already had and have it recovered or have a slipcover sewn for it. Boy, was I wrong, and it is pissing me off SO badly. I really wish that I could sew. What makes me angrier than anything about this situation is that I have taken my fabric and placed it inside and draped it over, and it looks fine. Why is it so damn difficult to put a few stitches in it so it stays in place? I'm absolutely positive that my mom would be able to easily get it finished, but she is super busy with work this time of year, that I feel a little guilty even asking. Hopefully something will happen before the baby is too big for it. If not, I will just donate it, I guess. Here's a photo of the pram as of right now...

In addition to doing the obvious getting ready for baby stuff, I have been going through all of Sadie's baby things to find what is usable and what I would need to get. I have managed to keep it really minimal, as most of Sadie's things were in immaculate condition. The only thing I really needed as far as a "major" baby item was a new bouncy seat. So I went online to try to find one I liked, fully expecting to pick it up from Walmart, Target, or Babies-r-Us. Well, I found a Maclaren bouncy seat in pink on clearance at this website called babies1st.com, so I went ahead and ordered it. It will hopefully get here before my scheduled induction date of April 20. The shipping was kind of expensive, so I picked the cheapest possible option, which could take up to ten days. Here's a photo...

I also was finally able to pick up a Fleurville diaper bag that I had ordered and was waiting for it to be monogrammed. I call it my "Mommy Bag," because it's basically a diaper bag that can be used as a purse. I figure with two kids, eliminating yet another bag to carry around would be a good idea. I will use it for ME ONLY. If the girls go anywhere for a period of time that I am not with them, I will pack their own diaper bags for that. So far in this wonderful mommy bag, I can fit 6 Sadie diapers, 6 Emmaline diapers, a package of wipes, one spare outfit for each girl, my planner and checkbook, a sippy cup, a bag of pacies, and there is also a little clutch inside. All of this without it looking like a huge, hulking diaper bag. The monogram I had put on it was an S and an E, since I will be using it for both little girls, and I didn't like the idea of putting just my last name on it. Here's a photo...

I also went on a mission to find a "weekender" type bag for myself to use as my hospital bag, and of course, for short trips just any time. I had a $100 gift card for TJ Maxx that I decided to use for that purpose only. I went and looked thoroughly at all of the bags there. I found 2 that I liked and had settled on a Harajuku Lovers duffle on clearance for $48. I looked around a bit more, because it's TJ Maxx. They always have interesting things to browse through. As I was walking back to the front of the store, I spotted in a random bin a HUGE Ed Hardy bag! It was perfect! EXACTLY what I had been looking for, and it was priced at $70, still well within the restraints of my gift card budget. I immediately snatched it up and took it to be monogrammed, too. I was told by the woman who owns the store that this particular bag would be nearly $1000 under norma circumstances. I guess I just got lucky! VERY lucky! I am in love, and have high hopes to have it packed and in my car by the end of the day, so everything is all ready to go.

My mom also found a super cute bag on sourpussclothing.com, and ordered one for each of the girls. They will be here early next week, and I hope to have them monogrammed, and use them for the baby's hospital bag, and Sadie's

overnight bag when she goes to her Mimi's while I am in the hospital. Here's a photo...

I have more to say and share on some other subjects, but for now I am going to go take a bath while my darling little girl is napping. I will post oodles more later...